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There is something infinitely charming about small local newspapers. Todays front side headline reads something like:
Something good might happen in Nowhereville soon.
It brings you down to earth and reminds you that life is, for the most part, just as boring as yours is right now. Somehow reassuring, and a bit of a universal ego-boost. Somewhere in the world there is always someone who will be impressed by your achievements.

While riding the train towards my ancient home I looked at my jacket sleeve and for the first time reflected over the words that were printed there "exodus 5,000" O.o What an odd thing to put on a winter jacket, I thought. I instantly texted several of my friends, who helpfully commented that "at least it's not a bible verse" and "it is obviously an encouragement to emigrate to warmer lands". The brand of the jacket in question is McKINLEY, named after the highest mountain in north america and they also use the outline of the mountain as their logo. Apart from being the highest mountain in north america, it is also famous for its extremely cold weather, even by Alaskan standards. The natives aptly named the mountain Denali (the big one) but some dude renamed it Mount McKinley in support of a US President candidate...

Obviously nothing of this tells me anything about why they decided to reference biblical history. Considering the current weather, -20° and 80% humidity (a.i. Cold as Hell), I am inclined to agree with Rik's interpretation: "If you have to wear this to go outside it is too damn cold and you should emigrate to someplace warmer."

A Terrible Prospect

I am walking along the highway from the neighboring city towards my hometown, a good 20 kilometer walk. But I don't mind the walk - I have the company of Jax, a dog belonging to friends of the family. I find myself wondering why I am walking on the highway, rather than the much less annoying and much more safe old railway that has been converted into a paved bike road.

I come to a place where there is a deep ravine down to a small stream that passes under the road, right outside the huge-ass fence that has been put there to protect the cars from driving into the ravine, should they loose control of their cars. For some reason, I have let Jax off the leash. A highly questionable decision, as I am walking on a highway. He is also a hunting dog, making it even more likely that he'll run into the road on a whim. But what happens instead is that he is running towards the ravine. Terrified that he will run into it I scream at him to stop - a fateful error. His reaction to my commanding scream is to throw himself at the ground, right at the edge of the ravine, causing him to loose his footing and fall down. I hear him howl briefly and then a loud thud, as he hits a rock. I run up to the edge and see him lying half-submerged in the stream at the bottom, legs and head in an odd angle. He is dead.

At this point, a fire suddenly erupts among the houses on the other side of the road. I pay little attention to this, despite several fire trucks, police cars and ambulances rapidly showing up. The fire is burning fast and hot, and they have to stop the passing traffic to make room for the rescue vehicles. People from the houses run over to my side of the road, paying little attention to me and my despair. Understandable, since some of their friends seem to have been caught inside a burning house. Firemen are fighting to find a way to get them out before it's too late.

I pay little attention to this. I am busy screaming and crying in agony; what have I done! How could I have let this happen! Clearly, it is my fault that poor little Jax is dead, I made so many questionable decisions, putting him in a dangerous situation and ultimately ending up dead. What are his owners going to say? What is my family going to say!? Everyone loves this dog, everyone will hate me - I hate me!

While I am busy crying and panicking about Jax, the fire burns out. The policemen go away and the crowd disperses. A young man covered in soot is walking towards me, crying. I have now finally managed to gather up the courage to call the owners and tell them what has happened. I pick up my phone and start looking to open the phone book when the man starts talking.

"Isn't it just great that your phone is working? Isn't it just great that you will be able to make a phone call?"

I realize that he thinks that I am going to call a newspaper or program, and tell them of what has transpired on the other side, and perhaps even send pictures.

"Isn't IT JUST GREAT THAT YOU STILL HAVE YOUR PHONE WHILE I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING!?"

He is holding a knife. I am holding an empty leash.

I am overwhelmed with terror, and start moving away from him. I try to ask for mercy.

"Will you please knock me out first? Please hit me in the head first!" I scream at him.

I have already accepted my fate. I deserve to die. I want to die. Dying will be so much easier than facing the anger, the disappointment, the blame of everyone I know and love, for what has happened to Jax. But I do not want to feel all that pain. The thought of what it will feel like as he jabs the knife into my body over and over again is terrifying.

I start running in the middle of the road, towards my hometown.

He tosses the knife after me.

Wedding Song

In Thundermar the tales proclaimed
Of a beauty destined for fame
Soft emerald green eyes framed a countenance wise
The people cried “Fanny”, her name.
Ol’ Firebeard he made her his quest
On one knee his love he professed:
“Oh Fanny me Fanny, do marry me can ye?
I love ya and I loves yer chest.”
Now let cheering dispel the twilight
And let the Wildhammers unite!
They’re short an’ they’re stout, but no man can doubt:
Firebeard and his Fanny are tight.

All these games...

The Witcher 2
Half-Life 2: Episode 3
Dragon Age 2
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Diablo III
Fable III
Guild Wars 2

Game makers of the world have united to try and ruinate me!