Report from the black forest

So, I'm starting to get strange questions like: Hey, what are you doing these days? Where are you? etc. Thus I started to realise that I haven't actually told anyone except Da-Ryun, Sara and Rikard where I am and presumed that the information had migrated. Obviously it hasn't, since Anton - who lives five yards from Rikard - aked me about this today.

This is the situation: I was to slow with my KE1201 - Gymnasiekemi A - (may the cursed thing forever burn in hell and sink into oblivion) and was therefore removed from the application-queue-thingy for Byggteknikprogrammet at Uppsala University. After a brief panic I then sent in an application to Lunds Tekniska Högskola i Helsingborg - the same programme. Because of my belatedness I was placed on 7th place on the reserve list and thus my chances of getting in were slim. Why, you might wonder? Because swedish universities has a fine institution called "överintag" which means that the university looks at the statistics to find out how many applicants usually fail to show up for registration and/or drop out in the first semester and decide on a number of students that will be accepted in addition to the number of places that they actually have on the programme. In Helsongborg that number is 10, which means that in order for me to get a late admission 17 persons would have to change their minds...

Therefore I somewhat reluctantly sent in an application for Byggingenjörsprogrammet att Högskolan dalrana, Borlänge. Truth to be told, I don't want to spend three years in Borlänge. I don't even want to spend one year in Borlänge. Why?! Have you been in Borlänge? It is probably the ugliest town in Dalarna - second to Grängesberg, that is. And it's boring. It has a high criminality rate. And student-wise it's dead. Seriously, for the entire campus in Borlänge about 100 hundred chose to show up at the introduction (inspark) - in Uppsala that was the number that participated in the introduction for my programme alone. And the lunch is expensive - 60kr if you eat there and 50kr if you take it with you!

The programme is OK, some of the teatchers are outright great, others are acceptable. The class is a little odd... In total we are 42, but half of them are going to become foremen (Byggarbetsledare) so next year we'll be about 20. A handful are over 40 years old. Because the school offers a sort of "tekniskt basår" concurrently with the programme 10 or so have not taken mathematics D... As I have alreday told Sara and Da-Ryun many (read most) of the girls are the irritating kind - you know what I mean?

So, for the more positive sides of the situation. I am studying something that I like! I mean, really, really like. That way I think it will be easier for me to motivate myself to actually study... I'm moving to a nice apartment/room. And because I won't move in until October 1st I will be able to buy a couch. And I baught a nice shelf from my cousin who is also moving. The place will be awesome and if you don't come to visit me I will forever hold a grudge! And finally, which is one of the main reasons I am even considering this - Borlänge is 1,5 hours away from Uppsala with train. And I will be able to buy tradera tickets for next to nothing.

That was all for now. If you want to discuss the suckiness of the swedish school system - please give me a call. Actually, give me a call anyway! Oh, and if you want to go downhill skiing at Romme (uttalas Romme med O som i Olov och Orolig - inte Råmme! tro mig, jag har pratat med lokalbefolkningen) this winter you don't have to worry about lodgings.

I guess that's what happens when you lack direction

Someone [read Rikard] once [a few days ago] said that strange things happen to people when they are left alone for too long. I guess we all have our different quirks and that we all have our ways of passing time. Sara plays Donkey Kong. I make patterns. Sometimes I knit or sew (brodera) a table cloth. Sometimes I build perfectly symmetrical houses in the Sims. Sometimes I just draw lines on a paper.


I am always amazed when I realize that I have just spent 3-4 hours doing something that is so extremely monotonous without getting bored. I don't even get hungry. I tend to notice that I am getting cold or that my neck hurts, but that's it. If I am listening to music at the same time I have no idea what songs have been played.

Why is it that I can put such ridiculous amount of energy into something so utterly pointless when I can hardly motivate myself to read a textbook for school that I find really interesting? Imagine what I could achieve if I could channel just half of that energy and commitment into something useful.

Do you ever feel that your priorities are a bit messed up?

Isolation

God, I hate eating alone! Even when it comes to breakfast I definently prefer eating it with friends, wich is strange considering I have terribly bad temper in the morning. Or maybe it isn't so strange at all, I even make sure I wake up completely before I eat by taking a shower. Every time that I have prepared, or cooked, a meal and sit down to eat in front of my TV or in best case at the computer while talking to someone on msn, I feel so utterly alone. It reminds me that there is no person in the world that I share my life with, only bits and pieces, and most of the time people are to busy to share theirs with me. Looking back I realize that the times when I've felt the most happy and contempt with life has been when I've been able to eat with friends: the cooking course in the autumn of second year at high school (every thursday, wonderful food, lovely people), the weekends at Rikard's house last spring, even christmas and midsummer.

When I think of my happy future, hoping that it's not too far away, I picture myself and a mystical person at a dinner-table. I don't know what we would be eating, though, probably something with garlic. When it comes to my interest in food, cooking and baking I really think that I do it because I know that it is the best way to attract people, at least my people. Right now there is nothing in the world I want more than to sit down and drink chocolate and eat waffles with my best friends in the world.

Ps. I bet you can name them! Ds.