Poor little thing *evil smile*

Something really strange happened today - I got every single thing I had written on my wish-list. Not that it's really a wish-list any longer (the things I wish for are far too expensive) it's more like a things-I-need-list. Otherwise it was about just as half-boring as it usually is, not because it's not nice but because the whole thing is too hyped up to ever reach the expectations. Lunch at my grandmother was at least very entertaining this year, my one cousin had gone missing - noone had seen or herd from him since friday (!) and he eventually showed up just when we were about to leave. An other cousin had been working since 7 am after a bad nights sleep so she was tired and grumpy (she's usually very positive and nice) and strangely enough it was she that stood for the entertainment the whole afternoon. It all began when her mother happened to critisize the food at this restaurant that she had been working at and my caousin got really upset (because her new boyfriend was/is one of the chefs there).

Then (because she was tired) she talked a bit too much and she said things that didn't really add up and her two brothers and me and my brother teased her a bit. It went something like this: Cousin T (I'm not gonna give her name away): Can I give him some food? (him being my brothers dog) Brother: No, you cannot. [Conversation goes on a bit] Cousin T: Every time I bring McDonalds food home my cat sticks his head into the bag. Brother: "Every time", so you eat McDonalds food all the time? (In a teasing tone) Cousin T: No, I don't. Actually I don't eat all that often at all. One of her brothers: You don't eat very often at all? Only on thursdays and sundays, do you? Every wednesday you go and long for thursday so that you can eat! [Laughter] And then it went on and on one the themes of the food at that particular restaurant, her cat being spoiled, food in general, her boyfriend not cooking when at home and so on.

After dinner it got worse because my uncle joined in as well (they ate in an other room). Eventually we were sitting in the sofa and she pretended to sleep and someone asks: should we open the presents? answer: no T is sleeping. I: Don't worry, she'll wake up when she hears the sounds of presents being opened! Then everybody laughed and she couldn't hold her face straight and started laughing to. But after we had opened the presents and we had teased her a bit more she had enough and went to a different room. Perhaps we were a bit mean to her, but that is how we do it in our family. If someone is stupid enough to get upset when someone jokes around everybody starts picking at him/her without mercy.

At my aunt's place things were as loud as usual. We didn't talk that much but by now I was so tired that I didn't care. And if you wonder where my missing cousin had been I don't know. I do know, however, what he had been doing: drinking various kinds of alcoholic liquids and sleeping at friends' places.

Yay!!!

I don't know how the hell it could have happened but I passed my exam on the 5th! I got a G but who cares? I didn't even think I would pass it at all. Now I don't need to worry about that any more. I didn't discover this until now because I haven't had time to even start my computer. Spent the first half of the day going around in a car (a usual activity in the countryside) and the second half trying to make my brother's dog look less like a troll with an Elton John haircut...

Update

Whoa, the Iceye is right. My blogging has deteriorated a lot lately. (Though not as much as that of Mr. Teddy and Mandele) I think I shall start with last thursday (the 13th, wasn't it?). Madde and Anton came to visit Eva and Rikard so we (me and Sara) decided to crash in :p The hosts were going to a theatre-meeting and the rest of us stayed at (their) home (due to the cold, -10 or someting). While waiting for Eva and Rikard to come back we went to the store to buy food and things to bake with. Then we cooked the food, talked a bit, sang a bit (christmas songs, that is; me Sara and Madde sang, Anton tried not to listen), made three kladdkakor and sang a bit more (this time with Anton). Just when the third cake was finished Eva and Rikard came home. Then we played Changeling until 5 in the morning and then we went to bed.

Unfortunately I had to get up at 9 again (school sucks sometimes). At this point something curious happened. When I packed my things the night before I managed to forget the pump Sara asked me to bring, however; I did get one of these crazy ideas and decided to bring my flashlight (!). In the morning when I went into the bathroom the lights did not work, so I tried the other bathroom, but the lights did not work there either. Since the lamp in the hallway worked I figured the fuse must have burned.

Anyway, when I got back in the afternoon the others had just gotten up... We didn't do much at all but there's one scene I have to describe to you: We were sitting and lying at various things in the living-room. Sara was (after asking for Maddes permission) leaning her head against Anton. We started to sing christmas-songs (again). After a while Eva and Rikard went to their room and closed the door. Madde and Anton dissappeared behind the couch. Me and Sara kept singing our songs but after a quick assesment of the situation we saw that we had the following options: a) make out (not going to happen, none of us is that desperate) b) one of us change sex so that we can make out (...) c) retreat to Rikard's bedroom. We went to Rikard's bedroom where we could continue our singing without being in the way. Unfortunately, at least for Anton and Madde, we discovered that John Lennon's Happy Christmas (War is over) is a walz, whereupon we decided to go back to the living-room and dance to it. Anton's reaction was to (for the hundredth time) rub a pillow in my hair (which is at the time veeery dry and static) *morr* the only thing that saved me was that Sara grabbed him and started walzing with him. I think we went back to Rikard's room for a while but I'm not sure.

On saturday Madde and Anton went back to Stockholm and Eva and Rikard threw us out, so Sara stayed at my place. We didn't do much at all. Now I'm in Grängesberg and right now my brother's dog is making a lot of noise so I have to go and see what he is up to. See you all on new year's. Oh, and I managed to aquire 16 1,5 litre bottles of soda for 40kr that I will have to drag all the way to Arvika.

She Believes in You

I was putting this bookmark in a frame as a cheesy christmas-gift to my grandmother when I got an idea. So the next day I went back to the store and bought the same bookmark again. Then I spent a few hours with a lighter and scissors (inhaling a whole lot of unhealthy fumes). Finally I scanned the whole thing and played around with GIMP and this is what I ended up with:


Now, if you could all ignore the fact that I actually spent 2 hours burning the wings off an angel I would like to point out that the idea behind the picture is that She Believes in You. Here is what it looked like from the beginning:

They say that it takes something special to kill an other human being, something you need to make that final Decision to take a life, something that not everyone has. That is why, when you find yourself in a situation where your life depends on your ability to kill, some people just cannot do it, even though their survival instincts are screaming at them. They say that once you have killed someone you are more likely to do it again and that it costs, that every time you take a life you lose a part of yourself. Sometimes I think that I have already made that Decision, and that it is only a matter of time and circumstance before I realise it. //Citizen X

This and that

Some people have asked my why I claim to be incapable of strong reactions when it comes to the relationships in our little group. First of all Sara's behaviour with a certain Kenneth this spring made me so immune to signs that I managed to miss the fact that Sara and Alex had something going on until Da-Ryun pointed it out to me. When you add Eva's change of boyfriend to that it's starting to get a bit too much for a poor inexperienced girl like me :p Since then things have started to develop at a very high pace. So far the sistuation is like this:

Therefore I argue that it is perfectly normal that I henceforth decline all excessive use of reactions along the line of surprises and schocks, since it would rapidly degenerate my health...

Highlights of session 2

Sinsce the old version was way too long, I chose to shorten it a lot. Riklurt, you can keep ypurs.

* Hudson leans over and flashes his badge
Hudson: Tell him the FBI wants to see him, and that he'd be very wise to comply to our wishes
[…]
* Hudson steps out of the car and turns to Pierre
* Lennox follows
Pierre: What's the matter y'all?
* Pierre smiles, a big, broad grin that reveals a gold teeth.
Hudson: A gold tooth, or a row of gold teeth?
Riklurt: A row, sorry. I was inspecific
Hudson: Ah
Riklurt: Additionally, it's probable you'd notice most of them are keeping their hands in said pockets.
Hudson: That wuld be a very likely thing to be noticed, yes :P

* Pierre has a row of gold fronts, rather.
[…]

* Lennox raises an eyebrow
Lennox: Well, we would like to talk to mr. Williams...
Pierre: Hah! Ya would?
Pierre: Gonna be hard for ya, damn Vipers popped a cap in him.

Riklurt: Wits+Empathy scores, people?
Hudson: 4
Lennox: roll 3#d10 Lennox rolled --> 7, 4, 9
Hudson: I thought Rik was supposed to roll that?
Lennox: oh
Lennox: all right
Pierre: ah, you can roll it for yourselves, it don't matter much
Pierre: I'll roll for hudson though
Pierre: next time, do remember that though ;)
Hudson: Roll 4#d10 because ST is too lazy Hudson rolled --> 1, 6, 7, 8
Hudson: I di :P
[…]
* Hudson turns to the men in the car
Hudson: Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were there
Hudson: You may leave now
[…]
Riklurt: Hey, prick! Don'tchoo think yo' badge is gonna make a difference if yo' full of metal, man!
Riklurt: One of the kids, a young and, presumably stupid, kid at the back draws out a gun. It's a cheap automatic pistol - but still a weapon.
Riklurt: How'd the irish motherfucker die, huh? Can you tell me that?
Hudson: Ah, there now, that's something you really don't want to do
Riklurt: Why not, huh?
Lennox: What do you think would happen if a Federal egent got killed here?
Hudson: The local police force around here are too busy to be bothered with you young thugs killing each other off, in the end it makes the street safer for ordinary, law-abiding citizens
Riklurt: Hudson, roll Composure+Intimidation
MsRapsberry: (bonus die of doom?)
Riklurt: Plus two for being a Fed
MsRapsberry: (is teh shit)
Riklurt: roll 4#d10 for Resolve+Composure Riklurt rolled --> 7, 1, 6, 4
Hudson> Roll 6#d10 to not get shot Hudson rolled --> 1, 3, 6, 4, 7, 3
Hudson: ....Right..
Riklurt: Oops.
Lennox: roll 5#d10 (resolve+composure) to not get scared by Hudsons threat Lennox rolled --> 9, 7, 2, 3, 9
Hudson: Hahaha
[…]
Hudson: Do you know who the man with cornrows was? What his name is?
Lennox: No
Hudson: Try to find someone who does.
[…]
Hudson: Roll 2#d10 for rofls and giggles, to see if my dice works better when I don't need them Hudson rolled --> 2, 6
Hudson: Nope, not at all
[…]
* Hudson glances at Lennox
Hudson: Write that down, get someone to see if he is still alive
[…]
Hudson: Lennox, look that up
Riklurt: Lennox: Roll wits+politics to see if you can dig up information about Hernandez via phone
Lennox: roll 4#d10 Lennox rolled --> 5, 9, 9, 6
Hudson: Haha, better than my rolls :p
Lennox: :P
[…]
* Hudson flashes his badge again
Hudson: FBI, go back to your business
Riklurt> Roll presence+intimidation+FBI+equipment(+1)
Riklurt rolled --> error: malformed expression
Hudson: Hahaha
Hudson: Roll 6#d10 Hudson rolled --> 9, 9, 7, 2, 6, 1
Riklurt: Two of them are holding baseball bats, and one of them has got his hand in a pair of unpleasantly baggy pants.
* Lennox flashes her gun
Riklurt: Right! Karen, roll presence+intimidation+3
Lennox: roll 8#d10 Lennox rolled --> 2, 2, 9, 9, 1, 2, 8, 4
Lennox: haha, I'm more scary than you :p
Hudson: My gun would have been scarier ;)
Riklurt: The kids abruptly stop, dead in their tracks, and back off. They make no further advances towards you, though the kid with his hands in his pockets picks up a gun and holds it a little casually, so as to demonstrate it.
* Hudson ignores them and keeps walking
[…]
* Hudson knocks on the door
Riklurt: After a short while, there's a voice from inside, muffled through the door. "Who is it?"
Riklurt: The voice is thick with some sort of accent, you think it sounds vaguely French.
Hudson: Special Agent Jack Hudson, FBI.
Suzette: What's it about?
Hudson: Open the door.
Lennox: always so diplomatic
Hudson: Yep
Riklurt: I want to see a badge first.
* Hudson holds up his badge
[…]
Hudson: Lennox, brief the Officers
[…]
Hudson: Yes, we believe Mr Williams to be very dangerous
Suzette: Why so?
* Suzette leans forward to grab a cigarette, and you catch a glimpse of a beautiful, elaborate silver necklace around her neck. Looks a bit too expensive for someone who lives in a district like this.
Hudson: We have been lead to believe he is responsible for several accounts of murder recently, among others the ones of Rodriguez Julio and Andre Fields
Suzette: Trevian been in trouble all right, but why a Federal agent investigate this, hm?
Hudson: Because of the unique way the murders were committed
Suzette: Unique?
* Hudson briefly shows her a picture of Mr O'Malley, post murder
Suzette: You believe that's him?
Suzette: Ridiculous! How would e do that?
Hudson: That is what I am most interested in figuring out
Suzette: Interested? I wonder, Agent 'Udson, 'ow much zis interest is worth to you, hm?
* Trevian opens the door.
Trevian: Honey! I'm home!
Riklurt: End of session.

Riklurt: There we are.
Hudson: O_O
Hudson: You can't do that! O_O
Lennox: !!!!!
Riklurt: Cliffhanger :P
Hudson: Curse you, villain!

Because it's Christmas

The darkness is spreading across the sky. Soon it will be December, the month of Christmas. I feel a strange mixture of excitement and sorrow. I’m excited because I will soon be with my entire family again. But somehow the sorrow is deeper. It stems from a dream that is incompatible with a reality that is rooted in the traditions of my family since ages. My dream is to spend Christmas with you, my friends, who I love and care for just as much as my family, sometimes even more. But I know that the greatest betrayal towards my family would be to choose someone else over them on this particular holiday. Therefore I mourn the always living and always unreachable dream, and I will do so forever. And I will feel a stinging guilt on Christmas Eve, when my heart secretly betrays my family. But it will never show… Never.

Effective teamwork in the World of Darkness

* Morton raises his voice.
Morton: Hey, you! Watch it! Don't step on the cat!
* Karen Lennox surprised
* Morton looks at Jack, who narrowly misses treading on a fat, orange cat that lies asleep on a book on the floor.
* Jack Hudson looks surprised and looks down to see what Morton is talking about
Jack Hudson: Hm. My mistake.
Morton: So. Likely enemies. Who killed him.

[…]

Morton: Nah, I got a pretty good idea of who did it. Like I said, though, I talk when I get something for it.
Jack Hudson: Would you say that you feel safe, at this point in your life?
Morton: Safe? Yeah, depends on what you mean.
Jack Hudson: Because, if I were in your shoes, I most definitely wouldn't.
Morton: I don't have no enemies. Not as far as I know.
Jack Hudson: This is not the first time something like this happens. We've seen several of these crimes recently, someone out there really dislikes street-scum like you
Jack Hudson: You think these pathetic little handguns will protect you against that?
Morton: Hah. Why'd someone be after me?
Morton: I don't have anything worth stealin', unlike O'Malley.
Jack Hudson: Nothing was stolen from O'Malley's
Karen Lennox: How much is this information worth to you?
Morton: As much as I can get out of it.
* Morton smirks a little again.
Karen Lennox: I see
* Morton looks towards Jack, slightly more hesitant, it seems. "Why'd the niggers want to kill O'Malley, then?"
Jack Hudson: What makes you think they did?
Morton: Some sense of vengeance, maybe.
Karen Lennox: For what?
Morton: You're saying you'll put me under protection or somethin' if I tell you?
* Jack Hudson glances towards Lennox
Karen Lennox: That's a lovely cat you got there, Morton
Morton: 's a lazy old baggage.
Karen Lennox: He looks a bit uncared for, to me
Morton: Psht. I try to care about myself before the cat.

Kristin: can I use intelligence to know that he cares a bit about it, since he screamed in the beginning?
Riklurt: Yes, he probably cares about it. You should figure as much.

* Karen Lennox looks at Hudson
Jack Hudson: Mr Morton, police protection will be just as useless against this unknown threat as your collection of arms here, the only thing that can stop this is if we can get to the source

Kristin: what to roll for threat?
Riklurt: Manipulation+Intimidation, in this case
Kristin: roll 4#d10 to threat the bastard Kristin rolled --> 9, 8, 9, 6

Karen Lennox: Then you wouldn't mind if we confiscated him for maltreatment?

Riklurt: Um. I would argue that Jack's attempt at persuasion is more effective here, so I'm gonna have you roll at a +2 bonus, Jack
Riklurt: even though that's one helluva roll

Morton: Hey, hey, hey - maltreatment?
Jack Hudson: The way I see it here, Mr Morton, is that you have two choices
Morton: Cat's doing fine, lady. Cat's doing fine - he's all asleep and fat like old O'Malley himself. Nothin' wrong with the cat.
Jack Hudson: Either you choose to help us, and we will do everything we can to stop this threat before your precious neck is ripped apart. Or, you choose to act like a pubescent teenager, risk being torn apart, and Detective Lennox here will take your cat

Riklurt: Yeah, +3 bonus there Jack
Riklurt: because of the cat :p
Anton: Haha :D
Anton: Roll 7#d10 to save cat Anton rolled --> 4, 7, 9, 9, 3, 8, 9

Morton: Fine, fine.
Morton: Have some sympathy with a guy who just lost his job, here.
* Morton shakes his head.

[…]

* Karen Lennox looks at Hudson
Karen Lennox: Was there anything else?
Jack Hudson: We'll let you know if we have any further questions.
Morton: Right.
Jack Hudson: You've been helpful, it won't be forgotten.
Morton: So I get nothing for all this?
* Jack Hudson walks towards the door
* Karen Lennox pats the cat
* Jack Hudson looks over his shoulder
* Karen Lennox leaves
* Morton shakes his head.
Jack Hudson: Just in case, make sure to take care of the cat until next time, ok?
* Jack Hudson closes the door
* Morton looks at the orange cat, which just woke up.
Morton: Fuck them, huh, Charlie?
Charlie: Yeah. Fuck them.

Motivation on bars

Hey, the hares outside my house are white now!

I'm going to have to read 60 pages of an incredibly boring book if I'm to keep up with my schedule. Curses, I'm out of motivating nutrition. Yep, it will be impossible to pull off without chocolate. I'm headed for the store right now... *footsteps in the stairs and a door slamming*

Dentists and holidays

Went to the dentist today. First time outside Grängesberg. They went on about my teeth in the usual rambling of numbers that is impossible to understand. In the end they said the same thing as every other dentist has told me the last 5 years: Brush your teeth more carefully (tandsten), use floss och mouthwash (microscopic caries). In the beginning he was doing things that are not part of the ordinary routine, evaluating my bit and stuff. Is it just me or is there something insulting in having a strange person looking at your teeth and deciding whether they're good or not? Apparently my bit is a bit "deep" in the front. Hmph! It's just fine, thank you. It's worked for the last 19 years of my life. (okay not really 19 years, but still) Anyway, on the way home I was thinking a bit about my family and our economy. My parents' economy hasn't been the best throughout the years. Mainly because they took a heavy loan to build a house and shortly thereafter there was a financial crisis in Sweden where the interest was raised enormously. At the same time my father lost his job. The first holiday that I can remember my father wasn't with us because he had to work. The next year he went along, though. Every year we have been able to go on a holiday for at least one weak, but never abroad. All the excess money went to me and my brother's sports activities. When I was younger I was always very sad that we never went abroad but now that I have gotten more perspective I realise that it was much better this way, and I am deeply thankful that my parents were wise enough to value my personal development through the practise of sports (orientering and cross-country skiing) higher than the short pleasure of a charter holiday once a year.

The originals for catDa-Ryun

Morpheus Mastigos

I rediscovered a funny program om my computer, which resulted in me spending about 3 hours doing this:







Can you guess which two famous persons this picture consists of?















Now, that one was the serious part. Do you recognise this person?

















This is where I started to get a little carried away...













Yep, it's Kenneth as my brother's dog. (Qubik, they shot his first deer yesterday :D)






And finally:

























But seriously, isn't this image cool?

Inferiority

Today my confidence got itself a really nice boost. In my seminar-group there are three boys (that makes them sound so small but I'm not sure if I can classify them as men) that are "the smart ones". You know when Rikard and Adam had a discussion - kind of like that. But one of them has a really silly view on the world, so he doesn't count. Anyway, one of them asked me if I wanted to write the PM together with him. It made me feel really great! *ego boost* And from what I can tell he isn't the type to choose someone on the criteria of how easy it is to make them do as he says. :) Seriously, on IB people were smart, but in varying ways. On Pol. Kand. everybody has at least 18.00 in average grades from high school, and they went to Sam, so they kind of know what they're talking about. I feel so uneducated when I come waving with my History HL, and nothing else. I should have taken economy instead of chemistry. Anyway, good PM partner = good for me. Oh, and do I need to mention that I panic-studied all night, again.

Informed Opinion

First of all, I must apologize for the language slip; I was not fully conscious though... I'm not sure I am now either, but in any case I am more alive than dead wich is more than I can say about last time. I'm reading about governments and politics, and I am coming to realize the problems of different legislatures and party-systems. At the risk of being pretentious I will try to give a short summary of them: First of all, there are (more or less) two different forms of voting a) majority and b) proportionality.

When it comes to the specifics I refer to the all-knowing Wikipedia, what I can say is that basically the majority-system tends to give a single-party government with a clear majority in the parliament. Obviously this system gives a strong government that is free to do whatever reforms it sees fit. Generally there will be a two-party system where the two parties are equally strong and takes turns governing the country. The democratic problem is that it is possible for very strange outcomes in elections, for example; in one election in Canada the conservatives got 16% ov the votes but only 2% of the seats in the parliament. Similarly, in Spain a party got about 50% of the votes, but 75% of the seats in the parliament.

The propotional voting system usually generates a multiple-party organization, such as in Sweden, where parties negotiate coalitions in order to form government. A party that gets 10% of the votes will get roughly 10% of the seats. In order to prevent fragmented parliaments there is most often a requirement that a party will have to get around 5% of the votes in order to take seats in the parliament. In this system the minorities will have more power and the coalitions means that the decisions made are compromises that are acceptable to most people. On the other hand the fact that all decisions have to be negotiated means that radical reforms are usually impossible, even if they might be absolutely neccessary.

The tendencies in western countries, and very much in Sweden, is that the support for tha major parties is dropping and new single-interest parties such as Piratpartiet is gaining support. When it comes to pointing out single issues where the legislature is lacking or out-dated or whatever these parties are very important. They force the leaders to focus on issues that they might want to ignore and so on. But the problem is that if too many of these small parties take seats in parliament, governing might become inefficient. The members of single-interest parties will vote on all issues regarding the country even if their interest is in a completely different area. The politicians in the parliament are usually specialized in a specific area, so in one way there would be little difference. Decisions would still be made on a basis of expertese and the majority will always win. But today these politicians are members of larger parties, with a laid-out plan that involves all aspects of how to rule the country. The politicians will vote along the lines of that plan on issues that they are not as informed in. This means that all decisions, more or less, will be coherent. If there is a lot of small parties without an all-inclusive plan the turnout will be more random as the politicians negotiate their votes on one issue in exchange for votes on their own issues with little focus. In that case the decisions are likely to contradict each other and there will be no clear direction in wich the country is going. In worst case the parliament might end up discussing the angle a banana should have instead of what to do about the declining economy.

In addition it would be even harder to form a government, and the coalitions could end up represent the overall opinion of the citizens even less. These are just some of the issues I have come across lately, I hope you all realize that there are no definite answers and that I am definently not the one who possess them :)

Masochism...

...är att, dagen före ett seminarium, apatiskt ligga kvar i sängen tills klockan 19:00. Stiga upp, och på något sätt lyckas fördriva tiden tills klockan 23:00 innan man tar i tur med det növändiga pluggandet, vilket innebär att klockan är 05:30 innan man ensa har börjat med att skriva svar på seminariefrågorna. När detta är klart är klockan ca 08:00, och eftersom seminariet börjar klockan 10:15 är det lika bra att äta frukost. För att motverka trötthet intaga en kopp kaffe och gå in till stan. På något mirakulöst sätt lyckas klara sig igenom seminariet utan att vara alltför osamanhängande (måste vara kaffet) och sedan gå och äta lunch på Uplands. (Ytterligare en kopp kaffe) Sedan gå och handla lite på stan, gå tillbaks till institutionen och kolla mailen och alla bloggar. Sedan besluta sig för att åka till IKEA och köpa foto-ramar (till ett överkomligt pris). Åka tillbaks för att byta buss för att äntligen kunna ta sig hem. (Vid det här laget är man fysiskt illamående av utmattning) Missa hållplatsen pga bristande fokusering, vilket resulterar i en extra promenad. När man sedan kommer hem, i stället för att däcka på sängen, borstar tänderna och tvättar bort sminket, för att sedan skriva ett blogg-inägg om det hela.

När jag vaknar i morgon kommer jag förmodligen att må lika bra som om jag hade blivit överkörd av en ångvält...

The holy Tickets

I got them today, the tickets, to the Céline Dion concert:

It's a bit scary, I don't know if I dare keep them in my apartment. What if there's a fire! Or a break-in! Maybe I should put them in my parent's weapon-locker... But what if there's a break-in there!? Or maybe I will forget them, or my mother might loose them while "cleaning" up in there. If I had been a bit more paranoid I would probably have opened a bank-deposit-box-thingie. Or even bought two more, just to be safe. Please don't let me become a complete wreck over this!

Isolation

God, I hate eating alone! Even when it comes to breakfast I definently prefer eating it with friends, wich is strange considering I have terribly bad temper in the morning. Or maybe it isn't so strange at all, I even make sure I wake up completely before I eat by taking a shower. Every time that I have prepared, or cooked, a meal and sit down to eat in front of my TV or in best case at the computer while talking to someone on msn, I feel so utterly alone. It reminds me that there is no person in the world that I share my life with, only bits and pieces, and most of the time people are to busy to share theirs with me. Looking back I realize that the times when I've felt the most happy and contempt with life has been when I've been able to eat with friends: the cooking course in the autumn of second year at high school (every thursday, wonderful food, lovely people), the weekends at Rikard's house last spring, even christmas and midsummer.

When I think of my happy future, hoping that it's not too far away, I picture myself and a mystical person at a dinner-table. I don't know what we would be eating, though, probably something with garlic. When it comes to my interest in food, cooking and baking I really think that I do it because I know that it is the best way to attract people, at least my people. Right now there is nothing in the world I want more than to sit down and drink chocolate and eat waffles with my best friends in the world.

Ps. I bet you can name them! Ds.

Taking Chances

For anyone who doesn't like Céline Dion (i.e. all of you except Sara) this will be absolutely pointless :) Anyway, downloaded C's new album (Taking Chances) to listen to it, not that it is very pressing, I've got about 6 months to take it in before the concert, but it's been a while and it's fun so...

So far it is by far the least comprehensive album I've ever heard, at least with her. Started out with "Taking Chances" pop/rock, heavy comp (!) sounded more like rock than pop... except that it's Céline (the lyrics!). You know what I mean. At this point I decided to connect my speakers and the sound was so strange that I found it absolutely neccessary to use the equalizer. Yay! New skill! I found a simple explanation to the freequencies here, enjoy:
http://www.songstuff.com/articles.php?selection=53
The next track, is quite okay but the third one "Eyes on me" is absurd. It is inspired by arabian/indian music, complete with that string instument that bends the notes and wining singing. Then follows four tracks that are easy to forget. And then comes "New Dawn" it starts like this: (Piano) "Mhmmhum... hummmmm... uhmmmmmuhum... mmhmmm... Jeeeesus..." WTF! This is followed by a few tracks that are okay, except "That's just the woman in me" wich is a song that Jill Johnsson would record, and she does a really strange thing with her voice. The last track is a boring ballad.

In conclusion; if you like Céline, this is alright, most of the time. If you've heard Céline before, and didn't like it, you won't like this either. If for some mysterious reason haven't heard Céline before, I actually think you would accept her Rock music-thingie. Oh, I don't suppose it's neccessary to point out that I have already found a few songs that I will probably listen to quite a bit in the nearest future...

Sara, I love you

One last thing before I go to bed... I Am Going To The Céline Dion Concert In Globen On June 7th 2008. So is Sara, experiences are to be shared or they loose too much of their maning.
This will check the first (without inner order when it comes to ranking/importance) post on my "To do before I die" list. Maybe I´ll post that here to, but on the other hand maybe I won't...

My first creation

Well, I just remembered this:


I personally added every single sequin on that thing, and I am awfully proud of it. Now all I need to complete it is a red dress.

Welcome to my inner mess!

Hi, friends! (At least most of you will be) Apparently we have now resigned to communicate in written words rather than spoken, at least over distances. I, don't really mind, since I find it easier to formulate my thoughts in writing, probably because I'm a slow thinker. I do abject, however, to the massive overload of reading, usually my hunger for that is more than satisfied when reading school-stuff, or Iceye's stuff, or any other prose for that matter. So, if this is the new communication-form I will adjust to it without too much complaint. ;)

Last week Da-Ryun had courteously agree-d to come and visit us, much to our delight, of course. The only serious side-effect was the indirect damage she caused to my back! Next time someone comes to visit that wont be a problem though, I now have an extra mattress in store. (Do feel encouraged, it gets lonely here sometimes) (And, please, don't interpret that the wrong way!) Anyway, we managed to turn over the day massively on the night between Thursday and Friday, god I've missed talking to her. As always the infuse of social mana left me inspired to do something great with my life, and my creativity. Due to the back problem I quickly lost the former but the latter, I must say, caused me to do this. (As soon as I have managed to cut-paste a suitable image to head this blog I will post it.)

That will be it for now, but I will return shortly with endless info about my depressing thoughts and feelings, hopes and dreams and all that. This, if nothing else, will make sure I will never be a politician, imagine the luggage!